From childhood, we always wanted company. In school, we might have felt left out from certain groups. We worked hard to get our teacher's and parents' attention, appreciation, validation, and approval. The world has programmed us to constantly seek approval from others.
Irrespective of whether you live with friends, parents, girlfriend, wife (or husband or boyfriend), I dare you to take an entire week off and live alone. It's ok to spend some of your savings. Book a hotel or a resort for a week just by yourself. Get a body massage, read some books, and use the internet to a minimum. This will be the most effective way to press the power button and restart your operating system.
When you are alone, you can see it as - freedom or loneliness. When you are alone, you are in your own company. You get to know yourself better. It's a date with the self. Some quality time with the self. It's an opportunity for others to miss you and realize your value in their lives, which has been long forgotten (especially spouses).
You will be talking to yourself in your mind. You will get clarity in life, and work, and grow spiritually. You will start seeing the bigger picture. You will get some inspiration and motivation. You might also get some negative thoughts, but being alone is extremely powerful in flushing out our negative thoughts.
Suppose life feels stressful, tedious, and anxiety-inducing. Go alone. If you are a biker, you can take a motorcycle and go on a seven-day trip as well. I prefer that from time to time. Don't ride in a group. Ride solo. Be with yourself. Let your mind figure itself out by talking to itself. Let the waters calm down. Your mind is like a sea—violent. Your mind needs to be like a pond—calm waters.
You have to try living life without the concept of “others”. The “others” are the source of stress and anxiety. You are not you when you are in the context of others. You see yourself only as a reflection of the other beings and think that’s you. But when you live alone for a week, you will not be anyone. Because you can only be “someone” to other people around you. There is no one around you to compare yourself with.
We are always “performing” for others. We are a husband, father, wife, son, daughter, friend, employee, boss, and so on. When we are “someone” to others, we need to put up an act of being that someone. We are forced to act according to their expectations. Their emotions have to be in constant alignment with your own emotions. It’s constantly having a finger on a knob and having to continuously adjust it just to be with other people around you.
Take a break from that. At first, you might be afraid of it. But what are you afraid of. It’s actually your ego that is being afraid. And you think you are your ego. Your ego only exists when there are others. Your ego is your imagined image based on other’s imagined image of you. When the others are not around, your ego disappears. And that’s frightening. But once you get in touch with the egoless existence from which your life fountains, you will have touched the source of infinite abundance.
The ego is the darkness. When you switch on the light, your ego will disappear. You can only switch it on when others are not around you. Infinite creativity will flow from this source of abundance that gave you life in the first place. Nothing is scarce in this world.
Very well said Deepak Ji