The Adulting Scam (Why I want to become a kid again)

Responsibility is heavier than you think

I am 37 years old, and in a few months, I will be 38. Yet, I am still growing up. I once thought that becoming an adult happened the moment I turned 18. But the truth is, we all remain somewhat immature, and life teaches us lessons gradually over the years and decades.

As kids, we often think we have problems. The biggest one? Not being an adult and lacking freedom. Dad says, “Don’t go out.” Mom insists, “Eat your vegetables.”

We are constantly surrounded by boundaries and restrictions. The suppressed desire for freedom builds up so much that, once we move out and start earning, we dive headfirst into exercising that freedom.

Sometimes, we overdo it. If Dad says, “Don’t drink or smoke,” we might drink and smoke once we are out of our house. If Mom says, “No dating,” we might secretly start a relationship.

It doesn’t take long to realize that while we now have the freedom to do whatever we want, there’s a catch - we must face the consequences of our actions and take responsibility for them.

Those childhood boundaries existed for a reason. They shielded us from the consequences of our actions because, as kids, our parents bore that responsibility. In hindsight, being a child under someone else’s guardianship was freeing in its own way. We didn’t need to set our own boundaries, nor did we carry the weight of responsibility. We lacked freedom as children, but we also had freedom from the consequences of our actions.

Now, as adults, we experience the opposite. We go out, make choices, and sometimes get burned. That’s when we realize we only have freedom in our actions, not freedom from their consequences.

Responsibility and accountability are inescapable. No one, not even a king, can avoid the outcomes of their actions. The universe is unforgiving - every action has a reaction.

I’ve made many mistakes as an adult, across different areas of my life.

For example, when I first had the freedom to spend money however I wanted, I splurged on random things instead of investing wisely. I exercised my right to spend, simply because I could. No one told me to invest. Looking back, I could be 100 times wealthier today if I had made better financial decisions a decade ago.

Now that I’m a better adult, I’ve imposed restrictions on myself. Buying a BMW has been a dream of mine for over 15 years. While I now have the money to purchase one, I’ve decided to hold off and continue driving my reliable old Volkswagen. I’ve set a rule: I won’t spend more than 2% of my net worth on a car. Only when my net worth reaches ₹50 crore (a long way to go) will I allow myself to buy a ₹1 crore car.

This principle applies to one of the riskiest activities I engage in - motorcycling. I have a strict rule: I won’t ride my motorcycle without full safety gear, including a helmet, jacket, gloves, knee guards, and specific motorcycle boots. I also stay within the speed limit. You’ve probably seen young boys doing wheelies on their motorcycles, only to crash and injure themselves severely. They exercise their newfound freedom recklessly, only to face harsh consequences.

The same principle applies to investments and trading. There are thousands of investment options available, but I’ve set boundaries for myself: I won’t gamble with my net worth, and I won’t trade in meme coins or other speculative assets. While I have the freedom to make risky choices, I also understand the importance of taking responsibility for the outcomes.

This also holds true in relationships. Women in India, who are often heavily restricted during their teenage years, sometimes rebel once they gain independence. Compared to boys, women typically face stricter boundaries from parents due to societal norms. Once they turn 18 and go to college, some may fall deeply in love with “bad boys” who seem exciting and rebellious. Unfortunately, these bad boys rarely make good husbands. Over time, such relationships may lead to heartbreak, infidelity, and even soul-crushing divorces.

As a child, I had to wake up whenever my dad told me to. As an adult, I have the freedom to wake up whenever I want. However, over time, I fell into the habit of waking up very late and staying up very late. I had to face the consequences of my actions—constant brain fog throughout the day. I couldn’t be productive. Now, I’ve imposed self-discipline on myself, aiming to wake up at 4 a.m. every day. On days when that’s not possible, I try to wake up by at least 6 a.m.

Freedom has a price. The price is responsibility.

If you don’t create rules for yourself, someone else will do it for you. If you don’t focus on self-growth, you’ll eventually find yourself in a situation where you’re forced to follow rules anyway. For example, if you don’t build your own business, you’ll end up in a job where your boss sets the rules for you. So why not set a rule for yourself now—commit to making two sales calls a day and start building your business?