How to let go of things you cannot control

Focus on what you can change and things will fall in place

We often get worked up about things that are not in our control. People behave in certain ways, the government might not be friendly with their policies, someone might be disappointed in you, the weather might not be favorable, the car might break down unexpectedly, and so on.

As an entrepreneur, we are trying to put things in order and there is already so much chaos in our work. On top of it, there is chaos in our personal life. To succeed in building a successful startup, one needs to stay focused and not let external things disturb us.

The past is done and is not in our control. So stop thinking about the past. The future is yet to happen and you cannot directly control the events that happen to you in the future. However, you can build a good future by focusing on what you can in the present moment.

Here are three things that you have completely in your control.

1. Positive Attitude

There is no way to determine if all the events that happen in our lives are for our good. However, we can see it as a good thing. I have gone through many bad things in my life but I wouldn’t be here if not for those events.

Every event that happens changes our life direction in a certain way. We can learn from our mistakes and move on. Many people think: I wish I had the maturity 5 years back and I would’ve avoided many mistakes. But maybe, the mistakes were needed to give you that maturity.

Events are just events and they do not plan to help you or hurt you. Some might hurt you temporarily and some might hurt you long term. But men of steel are not made through a comfortable life. Challenges are what make us resilient. A positive attitude about all the events that happen in our lives can contribute to a fulfilling life in the long term.

Have a gratitude journal and write about the things that you are thankful for every day. Meditate for at least 10 minutes in the morning every day. Use a meditation app if you have to. Considering going to Vipassana a few times a year. A sad person cannot have a positive attitude. Happiness leads to productivity.

2. Productivity

Productivity doesn’t come through effort. Productivity is a habit. You can choose to be productive today and it doesn’t take much effort for one day. Stop thinking about being productive in your life and start thinking about being productive just for today.

Tomorrow you might not be productive because you got distracted, but it’s ok. Try to be productive the day after tomorrow. Consistency doesn’t mean you start something today and maintain a streak.

You can focus on having as many productive days in a month as possible. Have a calendar where you mark your productivity on a scale of 1 to 10. Review if your productive days are increasing in a 6-month to 1-year time span. All that matters is that you are improving and not declining.

Learn to delegate and focus on the most important tasks. I have a long day coming up but I tune that out and focus on what I can do in the morning. My morning routine is to do some exercise and write an article.

We become unproductive not because we have low energy. We have low energy because we overthink things and do not learn how to tune things out to focus on the things that matter. There will always be 1000 pending tasks. Just focus on the most important and everything else will fall in place.

3. Diet & Fitness Routine

Your health is not under your control but your fitness routine is. I am not extremely fit yet, but I do have a regular fitness routine. Do a full-body blood test once in 6 months.

If you have a busy day, at least take the steps. Take some pushups between meetings. Many people join a gym but they do not go regularly because unless your gym is next door, it is very inefficient to travel to the gym and get stuck in traffic.

Reduce sugar intake to a minimum. You can have a dessert once in a while, but you cannot have chocolates and cakes often. Most people who are diabetic crave sugar because they are stressed out. You won’t be stressed out if you have a good fitness routine, have a positive mental attitude about life, and are productive daily. All these three aspects are interrelated.

If you are not married, cook food by yourself. If you are lucky enough (like me) to have a wife that makes good food for you, then just eat that. Avoid eating outside as much as possible. Do not go out to restaurants alone. Learn to cook healthy food at home and you will have a break from social media and work stress as well.

Invest in an Apple Watch and get a sleep tracker ring (Oura ring or Ultrahuman ring). You cannot improve something that you cannot measure. You should burn at least 300 calories a day through exercise. You will burn more with other activities but that’s not counted in this 300.

I went for a swim today morning and because of that, I feel positive. Because of my positive mental attitude, I can write this post and be productive.

20 minutes of workout is not much but better than doing nothing. I need to improve this for sure, but I am glad that I am building a habit.

You Will Save Money (If you do the above)

Don’t try to get satisfaction through spending and consuming. Get satisfaction from creating. Work and let others consume your work. You will get more satisfaction from accumulating capital than spending it for temporary pleasure.

If you have a positive attitude, are productive, daily, and stay fit along with eating clean, you will not have a desire to spend. You don’t even need to put effort into saving. When you create more, you will consume less. That’s why when entrepreneurs like Elon Musk make a lot of money, they still cannot chill. They continue to hustle. Because relaxing and spending money doesn’t give them satisfaction. Creating things for others is what drives them.

You might think that being frugal is in your control. Believe me, it’s not. That’s why I am not adding this as another point that you can control. When you have a negative attitude, when you are lazy and unproductive, and when you are unfit, life will seem boring. And to get some excitement in your life, you will start spending money.

I hardly saved money in my 20s. That’s because my life sucked. I was blaming others for my life situation. I couldn’t think about the future or plan for it. All that mattered was that I wanted to have some excitement. I blew money on bikes, travel, and partying. I still felt like sh*t after doing all this.

You might think that people who inherit a lot of money from their parents are lucky. But they are not. Satisfaction comes from earning money, becoming fit, creating value for others, and having a habit of saving money for the future. When you build yourself, you are more attractive than someone who got things on their lap from their parents.

If you are broke, single, and unfit you have a pressure to earn money, find a partner, and become fit. The exciting journey of improving yourself is a privilege that rich kids miss out on. Given enough time, things that are not earned will slip out of your hand anyway. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and get to work.

When you do your best with the things you can control, you will automatically be able to manage the things you cannot control. If life throws you out of balance, you will be able to get back on track because you know you are doing your best.