Don't Buy a House (And Get a Motorcycle)

Controversial advice that might trigger some people, but this is what I believe.

Before we start, let me make it clear that this is advice from a man, from a man’s perspective, from a man’s experience. I may be biased so take this advice with a pinch of salt. You might have a different opinion, but hear me out, and then we can debate about this in the comments section.

I am 37 right now, and I have chosen to rent a house and not buy a house. I can afford to buy a house right now, but I choose not to. This is not a piece of financial advice like the other finance gurus where I am comparing the cost of renting vs. buying.

When you are 24 and unmarried, there is no need to buy a house. It is obvious. But once you become 30 and mostly married, there is pressure to buy a house and “settle down” by society. Mostly, by your parents and your in-laws. Why are they so concerned about you “settling down”?

Before we talk about the impact you will have in your life (financially and socially) by buying a house, we should talk about what society wants from a young man. The world never cares about what the man wants, what are his dreams, and what he wants out of his life. Any such expressions of personal goals are discouraged.

Society usually puts the man under expectations. These expectations are a prison. The world says "You are supposed to do this and this as a responsible man.” Anything that the world says you are “supposed to” is a prison. It takes away your freedom.

You are born on this earth with no debt and no obligation to anyone. You are not “supposed to” be or do anything. You can be anything that you want and do anything you feel like. You already have the freedom.

But young men happily give away that freedom they have in return for validation from people like dad, mom, aunt, grandmother, uncle, and so on. The price of freedom is social disapproval. If you want to do what you want to do, society will not approve of it. Most men are so weak that they cannot handle that disapproval. They yield to the world’s expectations.

Most men, especially in India get married very young, usually under 30. Why? Their options only go up as they age and get to 35 or 40. They can enjoy more freedom but they get married sooner before they explore all the options and choose the best of them. Why? Because they are expected to. The world sees a young man with a job as a potential that has to be used.

Men usually do not feel an abundance of options when they are young and just out of college. They underestimate their own value to women. Men are not born with value, men have to build value through their careers and that takes time. Men’s sexual marketplace value peaks when he is 35 and they have more options and the freedom to reject many proposals from women who want to marry them (for what they have more than who they are).

Women are born with value. They have an abundance of options when they are young. Because their value is young, beautiful, and innocent. Women’s options usually go down when they are 35 because they are less attractive at 35 and have past relationships by that time which makes them less attractive to men who want to marry them.

The world has no patience for men to build their value to the peak. As soon as relatives see a young man who has a job, they find a girl for him and the man says yes because he falsely believes that his options are less.

According to society, this is what men are “supposed to” be and do for 30 years of their lives (from 15 to 45):

• Work hard, get good marks

• Join a good college

• Get a good job

• Get married as soon as you have a job (even if you are less than 30)

• Then buy a house (even if it means going into a 20-year loan).

• Don’t buy a bike, buy a car to take your family around

• Be “responsible” and don’t spend on things for yourself

• Plan a kid within 2 years of marriage

• Plan for the kid’s future

• As soon as the kid is 2 years old, plan another kid (because you don’t want the first kid to be without a sibling

• Help around in the house

• Don’t quit a job and start a business (because the job is “safe” and that’s enough to make sure that you raise a family).

• Don’t spend time with friends and build a friends circle, you are “supposed to” be dedicated to the family (time, energy, and money)

Men follow this path until they are 45-50 years of age. Usually lose their motivation and health in the process. Might get into smoking and drinking habits. The children move out and find their own partners. Then they have a mid-life crisis. Then some men buy a bike. And their wives call them childish.

It looks childish because men have not served themselves for 30 years. They just followed a template. They finally realize that they have never done anything for themselves and all that they did for the wife and kids is not appreciated anyway. Because who is going to appreciate you if that was your “duty”. You were “supposed to” do it.

If you are one of the lucky guys who has managed to not yet buy a house, insisting that you are not ready to buy one is one of the small opportunities you have to prevent yourself from falling into the template.

In 5-10 years (from the age of 30), your career will change, the way you look at the world will change, your financial status will change, and your desire to move to a specific city will change. And by “not settling” you will have a certain authority over your own life. While for most men marriage and kids cannot be avoided, not buying a house and buying a motorcycle is a certain level of authority you can exercise about the path and direction of your life which might not have too much resistance from your wife and parents.

As a man, you need a sense of freedom, even within the context of marriage and responsibilities and that will come from not owning a house and taking a motorcycle ride with a group of bikers once in a while.

On top of this, investing in Bitcoin* (Not financial advice, do your own research) will give you much better returns than “investing” in a house. Buy a house when you are 45-50 and build a great home. But not when you are young. Don’t give up so easily to the pressure of the society. This will also send a message to the people around you that you cannot be so easily manipulated for society’s agenda and you have a certain level of command and authority over your own life.

Brothers, your life is full of traps and landmines. At least avoid some of them. You will thank me 10 years later.

Also, if you are not yet married, congratulations. And FYI, bikers get more girlfriends than non-bikers.

P.S. I don’t regret getting married now, to the girl of my dreams and I have more agency in my life decisions now. I was single and had a motorcycle during the peak years of my life from 30-35. I made the mistake of getting married at 24 to the wrong person but thank God, I got out of it by 30. I am going to buy a new motorcycle soon. And have no plans to buy a house till I am 45.